Monthly Archives: February 2012

Light with.in

This week’s word is Light. This can be interpreted in so many ways as a photographer. When shooting a client, you hope for the best light. Not harsh sunlight. If you’re like me, you selfishly wish that your client would choose early morning ┬áto schedule their session so that you can take advantage of the golden light that is available in the wee hours while others sleep or sip on their morning coffee. Sure there is equally beautiful light in the evening, but most locations my clients choose are busier in the evening, so I have to contend with the general public. We all strive to find that perfect glow that somehow enhances the true beauty of the photo (even if it is only in our minds). Sometimes this means waking up early and traipsing out in 32 degree weather to get the shot that the client desires, and I just love.

Sometimes schedules don’t mesh for you to have what you consider to be the most optimum light. You have to make it work with what you have got. This may mean positioning the subject in just the right way. Sometimes the light needs to come from behind.

Sometimes you have to use window or doors to have that directional lighting.

And sometimes everything just works as is.

I also work to capture the light of the subject. The inner essence that makes them who they are. I don’t want just the same old same old poses, but I also don’t want something that makes the picture something to cringe at. I want my photographs to be a true reflection of the subject. Something that they will want to look at day after day, year after year, to remind them and display to others the person they truly are. I try to get pictures of moments when they are least expecting the shutter to click. Some of the best pictures, and the ones that draw the most emotional attachment from clients, are usually the ones I snap in between poses or test shots for the next pose. They just seem to capture that spark of the person when they let their guard down and just be themselves.

Let them stand of things, if it’s appropriate and allowed.

Give them someplace to relax, kick back, and throw up their feet.

Capture those genuine moments of love.

Or just work with small children to learn how to snap, snap, snap to get their full range of emotion.

I always try to remember to look for the light, both outside and within.

This glorious new website

So far I have only posted for my participation in the with.in movement, but that is not the only reason I created this site. (By the way, if you haven’t joined the with.in movement, head on over and check out the deets. It is a journey of self discovery, and for those who have the courage to share, you realize that you are not alone.)

Anyway…I’m trying to find my creative self. What that may be, who knows as I am still finding that out. However, I do think I have narrowed it down. I know that I am a creative photographer, but I already have a blog for that. If you want to see some of my photography, please visit my photography blogsite. With ArtsyCre8ive, I will try to focus more on things like my bath and beauty products (soaps and sugar scrubs – I have a page up for my scrubs like sizes, prices and flavors), wearables and props (hats, fascinators, and other crocheted items), and my dabbling in digital scrapbooking. I would like to work more on my scrapbooking as lately I have only worked on it once a year. I might throw some sketching or writing in (obviously writing with the with.in movement). It will be an adventure for me, or at least I’d like to try to make it an adventure. With the with.in movement, I am making one post a week. Hopefully, with all of my ambitiousness to be more creative, I will post more than that. I’ll have to see how well this takes flight.

I am hoping that this also drives me to finish more projects, as I tend to start them, but have so many unfinished knitted and crocheted items laying around. I promised my daughter that I would make her a tiger from Elizabeth Doherty’s book Amigurumi!: Super Happy Crochet Cute. I’ve been working on that for almost 2 years now. And it’s not that it’s a difficult project, it’s just that I haven’t focused on it. I’ve also got one of the wild things from where the wild things are from this pattern I found on Ravelry. (If you are a yarn-a-holic and haven’t found Ravelry, I suggest you go visit today!) I also have a set of Angry Birds that remains unfinished, and I bought those patterns. Again, not that they are difficult because I can knock one out in less than a weekend. I just have to focus.

I am proud to say that I did finish a crochet project for a friend who was expecting. I made her baby girl these. (iPhone picture – I said I was a creative photographer, not an iPhone photographer. LOL) Again, from a pattern found on Ravelry.

Oh and I’d like to get creative in my baking. It’s been a while since I made some cupcakes, but they seem to be what I like best, those and cookies. I’ve become addicted to Pinterest (if you haven’t tried it and need an invite, I’ll get you hooked up – just contact me) and Kevin and Amanda (follow their blog NOW! It’s a MUST!) have some uber yummy looking recipes. Maybe one day I’ll just take some time and try some out.

If you feel like it, leave a comment. It can be words of encouragement, a request for something that I make (that would make me focus focus focus if it was for someone else, right?), or just ramblings.

romance with.in

This week’s word is romance. What is romance? The definition is a love affair or love idealized for its beauty or purity. I think that society has greatly defined the image that appears when we think of romance. As girls, we all want our Westley to our Buttercup, our Peter to our Wendy, our Prince Charming to our Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty/Snow White. But are those images really attainable? If we’re extremely lucky, maybe, but more likely not than so. Most of us, hopefully, end up with someone who loves us. It would be nice to be able to add unconditionally, but we are human – and that is our condition.

I am happy to have met a man who does loves me. Though in the beginning it took his persistence for me to take notice. He was a friend of a friend, and I had just come off a long-term relationship that did not end on cordial terms. As any woman would be, I was wary of a new relationship. My heart had been broken by someone whom I thought I would be with for quite some time, only to find that in his words “the years we spent together were nothing but a waste of my (his) time.” I was not looking for another heartbreak. My emotions were exhausted.

Then in swoops this man who would eventually turn my world around. He loved me when I thought no one did. (Rejection will do that to you.) I rejected his advanced, but he continued. Then, one night, I thought to myself – why can’t someone love me? Just because one person doesn’t anymore doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t allow someone else to try. Just because one person hurt me so much doesn’t mean that this person will. They are not the same person. So I accepted the fact that he liked me and we became a couple.

Dating and living together eventually turned into marriage. This year marks our twelfth anniversary. Those 12 years have not gone without their trials and tribulations. We spent the first year in a house with no water due to weather issues and the timing on when they were drilling the well and laying out the septic. We’ve been through ours ups and downs. Debt, arguments, tears, laughter and most of all love. And I must say that on this Valentine’s Day, I love this man as much, if not more, than the day we were married. I hope that he would feel the same way. He may not be the most romantic guy in the universe, but he is my Romance.

the story with.in

So I don’t remember exactly how I stumbled upon it, but I did. What is it? The with.in movement. People from all over sharing their personal journeys with others. I really thought about if I wanted to join in the fun or not. I mean, did I want to open up myself? Did I want to be completely raw? Could I force myself to be completely honest? Did I actually want to come to terms with myself and my story? What was I afraid of…..

So I decided that I am not afraid, and I will participate. The first word to prompt sharing is Story. What does story mean to me? I believe that everyone has a story. A book, if you will, and their experiences are chapters within that book. My book is a sealed diary. I don’t share much with others. Why? For fear of being hurt.

My parents divorced when I was 4 months old. My father came to my graduation and to my wedding. He passed away last year. I only found out by my sister (not related to him) seeing his obituary and letting me know. I have a stepfather, but he is just that – a stepfather. Nothing more. It hurts to say it, but hey we’re being honest here, right? I was a trophy child with sports and academic accomplishments. When those years were over, I wasn’t an interest to him. If I wasn’t winning or excelling at something, then I wasn’t something to be bothered with. That was my first round of hurt.

It was difficult for me to open up in relationships because of always trying to be what someone else wanted me to be. Trying to please them, and not worrying about pleasing myself. It still is difficult for me in some ways. Friendships are limited to close people whom I trust. Work relationships are calculated. It took the persistence of my husband for him to actually become my husband. He worked to get me to let him in my little walled in world. I finally realized that there was someone out there who genuinely loved me. Even though I still strive to excel, to please people and not be a disappointment.

I am working now on finding myself. Finding my passions, both personally and professionally. I have recently found myself wanting to be more creative. Growing up, I wanted to work in the puppeteering/special effects industry. I allowed this dream to be crushed by a very inept calculus professor (long story for another day). I used to draw very well, but the lack of practice over the years has diminished my abilities. Unfortunately, to me it’s not like riding a bicycle. I can’t just pick up the pencil and create the way I used to do. To me that is disappointing and discouraging, so I have filtered my creativity to other outlets. I am a photographer, a crocheter, a knitter and make soap and sugar scrubs. I also dabble in digital scrapbooking.

In my quest to find me, I’m working on finding a career path at work that caters to my creative side. It is a challenge, but one I am taking very seriously and working very hard at. I do my current job and go above and beyond (again the pleasing side of me) while trying to find my niche. I’m hoping to find something in the marketing department or somewhere that allows me to be creative without stifling me.

On the personal side, I’m a photographer (admittedly with not as much clientele as I would like to have). I like being able to be a person to capture someone else’s story. That moment in time that is special to them. High School Seniors – It is a time of transition. A time when they should be working on finding themselves (not waiting until they are in their mid-30s), and shaping their futures. Maternity and babies – It is a time of discovery and taking on a new role. The parents are no longer responsible for themselves, but now have an additional person in their lives who are 100% dependent upon them. I want to start a program for photographing people who have made a change (either in their lives or in the lives of others). I know this has been done before, but I think with some thought I can put my own spin on it. We’ll see. I’ve also recently started getting crafty and making soap, sugar scrubs, fascinators and photography props. I’m slowly selling them, but am being encouraged to sell more. I just need to get off my lazy butt and make it happen.

I would like to scrapbook more than I have. I’ve only been scrapping the past few years for the ADSR competition and that’s it. I think that scrapping helps you capture the moment with not only pictures, but objects that help you tell the story. Embellishments can make all the difference around photographs and journaling can define the story. I need to work on capturing more of my daughter in these early years because I know when she hits those teenage years it’s going to be a challenge.

So I guess in a nutshell, my story is me being torn. Torn between losing myself to pleasing others and living up to their expectations and finding myself, defining who I am and what I want to be.