Zombies Beware

Our kiddo is still at the ranch, to return in about a week, so the Hubster and I are home by ourselves. We’ve been working. Last weekend we did grown up things like laundry, dishes, grocery shopping and lawn care. This weekend he wanted to do something more relaxing. Conversation between Hubster and I last night

H: what are your plans for tomorrow?
M: sleeping, hugging my lovely pillow tightly, until Brewster barks his morning welcome for me to get up and let him out.
H: wanna go shoot?
M: I don’t care.
H: well I can take you and we can shoot the AR & the rifle.
M: I don’t want to shoot the AR.
H: what?!?!? Why?
M: because I just don’t want to.
H: why do you have to be so anti-big gun?
M: I’m not anti-big gun. I’m perfectly fine with you owning it.
H: you know that our daughter has shot BOTH guns. Our 9 year old has shot the rifle AND the AR! And YOU have not shot either. (Make it sound like our kid is showing me up by doing something that I haven’t done. That card’s not going to work in this game, buddy.)
H: maybe I’ll just invite someone along who I know will shoot it. Maybe then you would shoot a few rounds just to say that you have shot it.
M: I just don’t want to shoot it. I have no desire to.
H: it’s not as bad as shooting the rifle. The AR is pow pow pow (he taps my arm lightly) and the rifle is p-whoosh (he slides his hand along my arm with the whoosh) and it kicks.
M: I still don’t want to shoot it.
H: but why?
M: I just don’t.
H: what are you going to do when you HAVE TO shoot it?
M: I’m not ever going to HAVE TO shoot it.
H: what about when the zombies arrive and they’re dragging me down the street by my leg?!? The only way for you to save me would be to shoot them with the AR!
M: they wouldn’t be dragging you down the street by your leg. Why would they?
H: because maybe I wasn’t prepared for he zombie apocalypse.
M: but wasn’t getting the AR preparation. If you have an AR aren’t you already prepared. So you should already be prepared, zombies won’t drag you down the street & I won’t HAVE TO shoot it. AR = prepared.
(silence & a while later – snoring)
Any zombies out there, take note, apparently since there was no rebuttal from the other side of the bed, we are prepared for your apocalypse, so neener neener.

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