This week I have been fascinated. I think the title to the post gave it away. I have been fascinated by butts. Not in a sexy way. Ohhhhh no. In a OMG, Becky, look at her butt, kinda way. This week I have seen more women with junk in the trunk, a badonkadonk, a bubble…..well, I think you get the idea. I would say these women all looked to be over the age of 50. These women had butts that were definitely disproportionate to their body types (not too skinny, not to fat). Their derriere was definitely their most noticeable feature, which is not a bad thing by any means, but for them to be wearing tights, well, that just drew all the attention in the world there. I’m guessing they are comfortable with their bodies and confident enough to wear tights enhancing their endowments. Me, on the other hand, if I had what they had, I would be shying it away beneath flowing layers of clothing. Self-consciousness would get the best of me. I guess it’s the mentality of “if you’ve got it, flaunt it,” but how much is too much? Is there any part of your body that you flaunt? Any part that you wish others wouldn’t flaunt? Let me know in the comments.
Hubster: Mo, do you remember the original?
Hubster: I remember them telling us we’re watching a movie in class & they put in Cosmos.
Me: it was hosted by Carl Sagan, Mo.
Mo: oh the guy from full house?
Kiddo: not bob saget.
Mo: oh no that’s not who I meant.
Laughter from everyone.
So I showed Hubster the waistband in the front of my underpants, and wouldn’t you know it was clearly meant to be in the rear.
Me: I was wondering why when I was sitting on the floor with the kids, my underpants were riding low in the back.
H: so you mean you’ve had them on backwards all day
H: and don’t you think you should correct that?
Me: we’ll that would require me to take off my shoes
H: do we need to get you Velcro shoes?
So there’s this poster of the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme on the wall. Kiddo looks at it.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty together again.
Kiddo: Mom you know what comes after this part?
Me: no, what?
Kiddo: they all had a great breakfast.
So this weekend we’re on a 6 hour trip to Lubbock for a chuckwagon competition. We passed large turbines they use to harness the power of the wind.
Me: look they’re farming air.
Hubster: air? Don’t you mean wind? Air can sit there and wind flows.
Me: those that are moving are being used for wind farming. The ones that aren’t moving are being used for air farming.
H: I see….
Me: hey, I thought that was a damn good explanation.
H nods and keeps driving.
Hubster: look at that huge plane! It’s going to land on us! Ahhhhh!!!!
Hailea: no it looks like it’s crop dusting
Hubster: hehehe, I crop dust
Me: no you don’t. You napalm. (Insert laughter here)
Hubster: I refuse to take off my sunglasses. (He has prescription ones he switches with his regular ones)
Me: why because the sun can’t make up it’s mind? (We’re driving through rain in Biloxi)
Hubster: I’ll see you on the other side
Me: of the storm or the afterlife?
Hubster and I are in the kitchen with Brewster & snickers. Snickers was sniffing brewster’s bum. It was so funny (you had to be there for the visual), so I started laughing. I was sitting on the floor, so snickers comes over and starts licking my face.
Hubster: OMG. You now have Brewster bum on your face. She was sniffing his butt.
Me: she didn’t lick it, so it’s not on me.
H: she was sniffing it, and her lip touched it.
H: yuh-huh. I saw it. Her bottom lips crossed the plane.
M: from your angle it may have looked like it, but you were up high. I was at the right butt angle to be able to see it, and she didn’t touch it.
H: can we record this conversation? Because you were at the right butt angle and that will be something to remember, and talk about later….
Hubster: snickers is licking the couch. Look at her long tongue.
(Snickers stops licking and glares at him)
Me: she’s telling you that you’re a tattletale and you need to shut up.
H: she’s got cow eyes.
M: big and brown…
H: and just enough white so it only shows when they’re going berserko.
M: with the mad cow disease….
(Snickers rolls/falls off the couch)
Car conversation today. The girls were playing with a small mushroom toy.
Munchkin: mom, you know she puts perfume on Mushy even though he’s a boy.
Friend: he’s not a boy.
Munchkin: uh huh. He told me so.
Me: it’s ok. Boys can wear perfume.
Friend: yea. It’s called man cologne.