Hubster: Mo, do you remember the original?
Hubster: I remember them telling us we’re watching a movie in class & they put in Cosmos.
Me: it was hosted by Carl Sagan, Mo.
Mo: oh the guy from full house?
Kiddo: not bob saget.
Mo: oh no that’s not who I meant.
Laughter from everyone.
So I showed Hubster the waistband in the front of my underpants, and wouldn’t you know it was clearly meant to be in the rear.
Me: I was wondering why when I was sitting on the floor with the kids, my underpants were riding low in the back.
H: so you mean you’ve had them on backwards all day
H: and don’t you think you should correct that?
Me: we’ll that would require me to take off my shoes
H: do we need to get you Velcro shoes?
So there’s this poster of the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme on the wall. Kiddo looks at it.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty together again.
Kiddo: Mom you know what comes after this part?
Me: no, what?
Kiddo: they all had a great breakfast.
So this weekend we’re on a 6 hour trip to Lubbock for a chuckwagon competition. We passed large turbines they use to harness the power of the wind.
Me: look they’re farming air.
Hubster: air? Don’t you mean wind? Air can sit there and wind flows.
Me: those that are moving are being used for wind farming. The ones that aren’t moving are being used for air farming.
H: I see….
Me: hey, I thought that was a damn good explanation.
H nods and keeps driving.
Hubster: look at that huge plane! It’s going to land on us! Ahhhhh!!!!
Hailea: no it looks like it’s crop dusting
Hubster: hehehe, I crop dust
Me: no you don’t. You napalm. (Insert laughter here)
Hubster: I refuse to take off my sunglasses. (He has prescription ones he switches with his regular ones)
Me: why because the sun can’t make up it’s mind? (We’re driving through rain in Biloxi)
Hubster: I’ll see you on the other side
Me: of the storm or the afterlife?
Hailea: Em, how do spell it?
Hubster: I. T. Geez, maybe we should have dinner with Winnie the Pooh & he can teach you how to spell it.
Hailea: I know how to spell it. I. T.
Hubster: did you ever figure out who chip & dale are?
Hailea: yea the munkies.
Hailea: yea the squirrels
Hubster: I think I’m going to have more fun than you guys. I’ll just let you drive the Lamborghini.
Hailea: YES! I’ll drive the Lamborghini!
Hubster: do you know who Pluto is?
Hubster: do you know who Mickey is?
Hailea: (laughing) yes
Me: do you know who Chris verde is?
Hubster: oh man he’s awesome. I think you ought to get his autograph now!
Hailea: well I do have blank pages in my book.
Me: (to myself) omg don’t encourage him
Hubster and I are in the kitchen with Brewster & snickers. Snickers was sniffing brewster’s bum. It was so funny (you had to be there for the visual), so I started laughing. I was sitting on the floor, so snickers comes over and starts licking my face.
Hubster: OMG. You now have Brewster bum on your face. She was sniffing his butt.
Me: she didn’t lick it, so it’s not on me.
H: she was sniffing it, and her lip touched it.
H: yuh-huh. I saw it. Her bottom lips crossed the plane.
M: from your angle it may have looked like it, but you were up high. I was at the right butt angle to be able to see it, and she didn’t touch it.
H: can we record this conversation? Because you were at the right butt angle and that will be something to remember, and talk about later….
Hubster: snickers is licking the couch. Look at her long tongue.
(Snickers stops licking and glares at him)
Me: she’s telling you that you’re a tattletale and you need to shut up.
H: she’s got cow eyes.
M: big and brown…
H: and just enough white so it only shows when they’re going berserko.
M: with the mad cow disease….
(Snickers rolls/falls off the couch)
Car conversation today. The girls were playing with a small mushroom toy.
Munchkin: mom, you know she puts perfume on Mushy even though he’s a boy.
Friend: he’s not a boy.
Munchkin: uh huh. He told me so.
Me: it’s ok. Boys can wear perfume.
Friend: yea. It’s called man cologne.